“Which left me with the cheery knowledge that my father would wan tto spend time with me even if i were a cold, stiff corpse. not every daughter can say that, i bet!”

“that was the plan?part of it, you don't wan tot know the rest. i believe the word 'these dog colllars would make excellent restraints' were involved.it was a brilliant idea. and we only got really cute well-made collars. this is my favorite. we had the tag engraved to say BUBBA.”

“That kiss you gave me was the hottest kiss i've ever had. I pulled away because i was afraid i wouldn't be able to stop myself from ripping off your clothes. And that didn't seem like the right way to end a first date. I didn't want you to think that was all i was interested in."She stared at him. There was silence again, but this time she didn't worry about how long it went on."Why didn't you tell me?" She said finally."I tried to, but every time i saw you afterward you disappeared. I got the feeling you were avoiding me.""i didn't want things to be awkward.""Yeah, there was nothing awkward about you hiding behind a plant when i came into the dining hall at lunch on wednesday.""I wasn't hiding. I was, um, breathing. You know, oxygen. From the plant. Very oxygenated, that air is.""Of course. I should have thought of that.""It's a healthy thing. Not many people know about it.”

“Because after the haze of not being kissed cleared I was forced to face the facts that:1. Jack was a very bad guy.2. Jack had threatened Fred.3. Just thinking that he was going to kiss me made me tingly everywhere4. In a way no other guy had5. And that was without our mouths even touching6. Which meant that7. If they did8. Wooohoo baby!9. Except that it did not matter10. At all11. Because he was plotting against fred12. And I was complicit in whatever he planned if I didn't tell Mr. Curtis13. And I was trapped in a boat with a woman singing showtunes.”

“For some reason my father saw no problem with us pplaying "barbie and ken go to hawaii to save their marriage by picking up another couple for sexy good times," but if barbie and ken had gone to hawaii to "rescue another couple from a crazed kidnapper," that would have been wrong.”

“I didn't mean to interupt you if you were looking for your friends Miss--''Callihan,' but you can call my Jasmine. Or Jas.' Or Snookums. Honeybunch. Hotsie Totsie Cowgirl. My Little--'It's nice to meet you Jasmine, I'm Jack.”

“that arctic blast you're feeling? it's the chill coming off my cold shoulder”