“I don’t have a boyfriend.”“Good thing. I’d hate to have to hop a plane at this time of night just to kick his ass for messing around with my girl.”I smile and chew on my bottom lip. His forwardness is kind of cute. “I’m not your girl, Noel.”“Not yet, but soon,” he says.”

“I’m His girl. You don’t mess with God’s girl. I got a sign on my forehead that says: You better be nice to me, for my Father owns the world.”

“You know the kind of smile I’m talkin’ about. That flirty, cute, bite-your-bottom lip ‘cause his smile is so stinkin’ perfect—that kind of smile.”

“That’s my good girl,” he growled in my ear. And there it was. His good girl? Why did I always have to be the good girl? Fuck that.”

“I laugh and rush to him, throwing my arms around his neck. “You’re the best, most understanding boyfriend in the whole wide world.”He sighs and returns my hug. “No, I’m not,” he says, pressing his lips to the side of my head. “I’m the most whipped boyfriend in the whole wide world.”

“Have you met my boyfriend? He thinks running around in the middle of the night pretending he’s an elf is a good time. If that’s not fucked up, I don’t know what is.”