“It's no use analyzing your life the whole time. Those analyses won't help you when you're dead”

“Dogs are gonna take over the world. It's a known fact for those who believe it, kinda like the Bible.”

“Green Day is like sex. When we good we're really good! When we're bad... we're still pretty damn good!”

“I always say the world is a better place because of Joey Ramone”

“All my religious beliefs are based on Star Wars.”

“I have a daughter and she's the greatest thing that ever happened to me. She gives me a good excuse to watch cartoons.”

“I know what it's like. I've seen it played out a zillion times. You're waiting for that magical day when someone makes the connection and recognizes who you really are. Maybe they'll first catch the sparkle in your eye. Or perhaps they'll marvel at your insights and the depth of your spirit. Someone who will help you connect the dots, believe in yourself, and make sense of it all. Someone who will understand you, approve of you, and unhesitatingly give you a leg up so that life can pluck your ready, ripened self from the branch of magnificence. Well, I'm here to tell you, your wait is over. That someone, is you.”