“Don't mess with me, lady. I've been drinking with skeletons.”

“Lady, I was gonna cut you some slack, 'cause you're a major mythological figure...but now you've just gone nuts!”

“With a rasping cough, the vampire shakes its head. "It was you who called us. All of you, with your war. The roar of your cannons shook us from our quiet graves...”

“Okay, I know I said I wasn't going to shake things up, but we're going to have to get some pants on this one.”

“That's what I've never been able to get about religion: that charmless combination of altruism and insanity. Give me a cynical, self-interested bastard any day of the week; at least you can play chicken with him and know he'll stick to the rules.”

“You know, I've never really liked paying bills. I don't think I'm gonna do that, either.”

“It's tragic that extremists co-opt the notion of God, and that hipsters and artists reject spirituality out of hand. I don't have a fixed idea of God. But I feel that it's us - the messed-up, the half-crazy, the burning, the questing - that need God, a lot more than the goody-two-shoes do.”