“I hate to disappoint, but I just lay there, curled in a ball, shaking in pure terror.”

“That whiff of smoke was enough to transform my sithere-trembling terror into get-the-hell-out-of-here terror.”

“A night spent spooning with your girlfriend isn't nearly so exciting when your uncle is curled up against your other side.”

“The bookcase was filled with computer games, history books, and sci-fi novels in about equal proportions. Odd reading choices, maybe, but I just thought of it as past and future history.”

“I didn't say anything - just held up my hands and shuffled backward toward the door. Antagonizing a little old lady holding a shotgun seemed like a very bad idea.”

“I didn't care much for being called stupid and softhearted. But the boyfriend bit I could live with.”

“A librarian can’t live by books alone, and I wouldn’t eat them if I could. Feel too much like cannibalism.”