“That was so f*cking money. That was like the Jedi mind-shit”

“To the people who are upset about their hard-earned tax money going to things they don’t like: welcome to the f*cking club. Reimburse me for the Iraq war and oil subsidies, and diaphragms are on me!”

“Jesus, if it comes down to it, I'll even write you a f*cking letter!""I'll write you on both sides of the f*cking paper, Caro.”

“You can't imbibe someone's success by f*cking them.”

“It looks like a group of evil f*cking gnomes came in here and decided to do the opposite of whatever they did for the shoemaker.”

“Why’d you want to have sex with me? To have a f*cking adventure? What was I supposed to be? Your one-night-f*cking stand? I’m every woman’s adventure, damn you, and I don’t want to be yours. I want to be your f*cking REAL. You get that? If I f*ck you, I want you to belong to me. To be mine. I want you to give yourself to me—not Riptide!”