“If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?”

“The only place success comes before is in the dictionary”

“I know why superman left krypton. Earth was the only place where he could get steriods!”

“I'd rather be a 'could-be' if I cannot be an 'are' because a 'could-be' is a 'maybe' who is reaching for a star. I'd rather be a 'has-been' than a 'might-have-been' by far; for a 'might-have-been' has never been, but a 'has' was once an 'are.”

“I'd rather be a could-be if I cannot be an are; because a could-be is a maybe who is reaching for a star. I'd rather be a has-been than a might-have-been, by far; for a might have-been has never been, but a has was once an are.”

“Committee - a group of men who keep minutes and waste hours.”

“When opportunity doesn't knock, create a door”