“We owe a lot to Thomas Edison-if it wasn't for him, we'd be watching television by candlelight.”
“You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think.”
“A man falls down a flight of stairs and somebody rushes over to him and asks, "Did you miss a step?" "No," he answers, "I hit every one of them!”
“Committee - a group of men who keep minutes and waste hours.”
“When opportunity doesn't knock, create a door”
“Laughter is an instant vacation.”
“If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?”