“Niccolo frowned. Why did Viktor, and modern humans for that matter, always speak of beasts of burden? Ass this and ass that. Hungry as a horse…”

“Sì, maybe I should consult Viktor. Niccolo pulled his phone from his pocket. His fingers jabbed at the miniature text pad with frustration: H asked me 2 break 1 of my rules, then I should sleep w/ her. Yes? Niccolo hit send. Viktor responded immediately: U mean sexting. right? Niccolo: Sexting? Viktor: Sex+texting. Niccolo: Idiot. real sex. Viktor: Dumbass! Then u lose chance 4 freedom. Niccolo: Have lost it already. I think.Viktor: K, then tell her who U R instead, ass.”

“Any day now?” Viktor prodded. “Sì, sì. Do not get your…” Niccolo paused to recall the exact phrase. “Get your balls in a bunch.” Viktor shook his head. “Panties.” Niccolo frowned. “Why would you wear panties? Aren’t those for females?” Viktor growled. “Can we go now?” “Yes, but I insist you tell me more about your man-panties later.”

“No matter how you twist and turn, your ass is always in the back.”

“If an ass goes travelling, he'll not come home a horse.”

“In any group of people, no matter how hard-assed they might appear, there’s always a geek.”