“Men know what they want. Men make concrete plans. Men own alarm clocks. Men sleep on a mattress that isn’t on the floor. Men tip generously. Men buy new shampoo instead of adding water to a nearly empty bottle of shampoo. Men go to the dentist. Men make reservations. Men go in for a kiss without giving you some long preamble about how they’re thinking of kissing you. Men wear clothes that have never been worn by anyone else before. (Okay, maybe men aren’t exactly like this. This is what I’ve cobbled together from the handful of men I know or know of, ranging from Heathcliff Huxtable to Theodore Roosevelt to my dad.) Men know what they want and they don’t let you in on their inner monologue, and that is scary.”

“I felt bad for Lulu because I've been Lulu. It's really hard when you realize the guy you've been dating is basically a high schooler at heart. It make you feel like Mary Kay Letourneau. It's the worst.Until I was thirty, I only dated boys, as far as I can tell. I'll tell you why. Men scared the shit out of me.Men know what they want. Men make concrete plans. Men own alarm clocks. Men sleep on a mattress that isn't on the floor. Men tip generously. Men buy new shampoo instead of adding water to a nearly empty bottle of shampoo. Men go to the dentist. Men make reservations. Men go in for a kiss without giving you some long preamble about how they're thinking of kissing you.”

“Herein lies the tragedy of the age: not that men are poor, — all men know something of poverty; not that men are wicked, — who is good? not that men are ignorant, — what is Truth? Nay, but that men know so little of men.”

“There are men you build a future with, Dani. And then there are men that you know, going in, that you're only making a memory with. I know the difference..Some memories are worth the price. I'll deal with it.”

“Men deft men mental men of loving men all menVile men virtuous men same men from which menSweet and men of mercy men such making men saidHas each man that sees itCry as men to the men sensateConceptual recognition the menAnd their poverty speaking to the menIs about timeliness men is aboutPrevious palpability from whichThe problematic politics adorableAnd humble especiallyYoung men of sheepish privilege becomingSweet new style”

“You look hot. The straight men will want you, the gay men will want beauty tips, and the women will want to scratch your eyes out. If that isn't the stuff of fairy tales, I don't know what is.”