“No pasta. I’m serious. I will climb out of my coffin if anyone brings a baked ziti.”

“With six pieces of wood, I’m building a life, and my coffin.”

“Sometimes I want to clean up my desk and go out and say, “Respect me; I’m a respectable grown-up!" and other times I just want to jump into a paper bag and shake and bake myself to death.”

“I have cookies.”“Cookies?” My brows rose.“Yeah, and I made them. I’m quite the baker.” For some reason, I couldn’t picture that. “You baked cookies?”“I bake a lot of things, and I’m sure you’re dying to know all about those things. But tonight, it was chocolate and walnut cookies. They are the shit if I do say so myself.”

“He disregards my opinions and wishes at every turn, with his neurotic, challenging ways, and now I fear I’m becoming neurotic and challenging as well. He brings out the worst in me, and I know damn well I bring out the worst in him.”

“You’re seriously not joking?” – Sundown“Really? How many more times are you going to ask me that? I could be on a beach right now with my wife, son, and daughter, baking in the sun while they frolic and play. Am I? No. I’m here, and I want nothing more than to yank you around with bullshit ’cause this gets me off more than my wife running in a bikini.” – Zarek”