“Any good Irwin can make going to the corner store for a candy bar and a Coke lood death defying and suicidal.”

“People who can’t hack it as Irwins because they’re too violent go into the air travel industry.”

“Irwins are never more alive than when they’re five minutes away from getting slaughtered.”

“She was sitting on the counter, holding a can of Coke. “Looking for this?” she asked. “My savior.” I walked toward her, making grabbing motions. “Gimme. Gimme sweet, sweet caffeine.” “The word is ‘please,’ Mason.”

“I'm a decent sprinter and I can gun a motorcycle from zero to suicidal in less than ten seconds.”

“[M]y Coke hit the floor with a metallic clink, so much like the sound of a bullet casing being dropped.”

“Remember what I said about the mosquitoes?" "Which part" asked Maggie. "The scary part, the really scary part, the legitimately terrifying part, or the part that makes suicide sound like an awesome way to spend the evening?”