“Why can't you just say 'don't breathe the water' like a normal person?""Because I'm a doctor, and they teach us never to use little words where big ones will do.”

“If the directions say to do it, we do it," said Maggie. "That's what everyone says. If you don't listen to the Monkey, he doesn't meet with you.""Let's hope the directions don't tell us to shoot a man in Reno just to watch him die," I muttered, and pulled out onto the street.”

“Me, I say those are all great things to live for, if they're what happens to float your boat, but at the end of the day, there's got to be somebody you're doing it for. Just one person you're thinking of everytime you make a decision, everytime you tell the truth, or tell a lie, or anything.I've got mine. Do you?”

“That,' he said, with almost religious fever, 'was the coolest thing you have ever done. In fact, that may have been the coolest thing you ever will do. Your entire existence has been moving toward one shining moment, George, and that was the moment when you thought, 'Hey, why don't I just go over the zombies?”

“Then you know why I'm not in the mood for sunshine and puppies." I paused. "That expression makes no sense. Why the hell would I ever be in the mood for puppies?""Shaun—""I could go with sunshine, though. Sunshine is useful. It should really be 'sunshine and shotguns.' Something you'd actually be happy about.""Shaun—”

“They can't reproduce?" said Shaun incredulously. "That's your big solution? They won't fuck? Did none of you people ever see Jurassic Park?”

“What kind of world were we living in, where the people we trusted to keep us healthy were the ones keeping us sick[...]”