“Conner looking at the text he sent Jeff the night before:8:42pm..Reed:Need you to go to Denver w me.8:46pm..Jeff: in meeting. give me 1 hr.8:53pm..Reed: no can do. want wife back. going now. think i cn talk her into it wth sperm.Hell.Please don't let him have called her.8:53pm..Jeff: R U drinking?8:55pm..Reed: have wht she wants. solllid plan. better than hers.8:56pm..Jeff: leaving now. wait 4 me.9:02pm..Reed: don't worry botu it.9:02pm..Jeff: WAIT 4 ME.9:04pm..Jeff: PICKUP YOU PHONE9:57pm..Jeff: you should stop for drink @ that bar in terminal with the big olives b4 flight.10:22pm..Reed: hey, UR at the bar. you look pissed.”

“Achmed: Two Jews walk into a bar... Jeff: No no no no no Achmed: You don't let Jews in your bar? You racist bastard.”

“Jeff: The drive from the valley?Peanut: Was bad as hell!Jeff: Traffic?Peanut: Sucked like hell!Jeff: Drivers?Peanut: Angry as hell!Jeff: And you?Peanut: Were scared as hell!Jeff: Parking?Peanut: Sucked more like hell!Jeff: So?Peanut: We're in hell! ”

“You can't go from 1-10 without going through 2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9. Learning to respect the process and living to appreciate the result is the formula for growth”

“A drink centers me but I usually make myself wait until at least 9:00 PM for that. Or 8:00 PM. Whichever comes first.”

“Peanut: Too much starbucks coffee, coffee, coffee!Jeff: You didn't have coffee before the show!Peanut: I admit it was crack.Jeff: You didn't do crackPeanut: Then you did! It feels like one of us did!Peanut: Don't you do crack?Jeff: No! I'VE NEVER DONE CRACK!Peanut: Alright. I admit Jeff does not abuse drugs. He's an alcoholic.”