“Some may say that such a girl is not ready for a relationship with a man, especially a man in his late sixties. But to that I say: We don't know anything. We don't know how to cure a cold or what dogs are thinking. We do terrible things, we make wars, we kill people out of greed. So who are we to say how to love. I wouldn't force her. I wouldn't have to. She would want me. We would be in love. What do you know. You don't know anything. Call me when you've cured AIDS, give me a ring then and I'll listen.”

“We really wanted to know all the unknowable things about each other and how we were the same and how we were different, if we even were, maybe nobody is.”

“Well,I have a theory that men don't actually cry less than women,they just do it differently. Since we never saw our fathers cry,we are forced to invent our own unique method.”

“We had loved people we really shouldn't have loved and then married other people in order to forget our impossible loves, or we had once called out hello into the cauldron of the world and then run away before anyone could respond.”

“Shut up!" Henry says, "You're going to wake up Jerry Rice.""Jerry Rice?" Carter says, covering his mouth with a hand. I don't think I've ever seen Carter laugh so hard."Carter, would you like to be the godfather?" Henry asks. "You know, in case anything happens to me and Woods this week?""Charming," Carter says. "I''d be honored. Does JJ get to be godmother?""Obviously," I say."Can I hold Jerry Rice?" JJ asks. "He''s so cute.""No way, man," I reply. "I don't want to wake that thing up before practice. We'll be late if we have to feed it.""What does it eat?" Carter asks."I have to breast-feed, cause I'm the mom," Henry says, continuing to push the stroller toward the locker room."Actually," I say, "It eats a metal rod, made out of, like, lead. So basically, we're learning how to poison babies.""Radical," JJ says as we approach the gym,”

“We don't really believe in mowing the lawn; we do it only to avoid unnecessary engagement with the neighbors.”

“It is terrible to have to ask for anything ever. We wish we were something that needed nothing, like paint. But even paint needs repainting.”