“A wise man once said, 'Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.”

“When unrequited love is the most expensive thing on the menu, sometimes you settle for the daily special.”

“Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.”

“Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.”

“How can you be in love with someone for forever and not be willing to take a chance when it finally hits you in the face like a linebacker?”

“Now that we all have partners, all husbands should come pick up theirprojects."Pick up our project? Shrugging, I stand up and stretch my arms. Henry also stands. "No way, dude," I say. "I'm the man in this relationship.""Oh yeah, absolutely," he says, grinning. He sits back down as I walk to the closet to see this project, which turns out to be one of those fakeelectronic babies. Oh good God. Ms. Bonner hands me a fake baby boy. The doll has these creepy glass eyes that look like they’re staring straightinto my soul. I hold the doll out in front of me like it's a flaming bag of poo and carry it back to Henry."Congratulations, Mommy," I say, dropping the doll into his hands. You could've told me I knocked you up.”

“You only live once, and if something feels right to you and you want it, you should go after it.”