“Any chance that you're pregnant?' the technician says as he pulls the X-ray lamp over my swollen knee.'No,' Henry and Dad say at the same time.”

“For what it's worth," Dad says, running his fingers over the picture, "I've never seen anyone run faster than Henry after you hurt your knee last week.”

“Yo, guys," Ty says, peering down into the stroller. "What the hell is that thing? Satan's spawn?""You'd better watch it!" Henry says. He puts on a serious face, throws an arm around my shoulders, and pulls me in close. "That's our child you'retalking about."Ty smiles, then looks at Jerry Rice. "Its eyes are seriously creeping me out. And I knew something was going on between you two.""You're right," Henry says. "Woods is my husband, and I'm her wife.”

“Shut up!" Henry says, "You're going to wake up Jerry Rice.""Jerry Rice?" Carter says, covering his mouth with a hand. I don't think I've ever seen Carter laugh so hard."Carter, would you like to be the godfather?" Henry asks. "You know, in case anything happens to me and Woods this week?""Charming," Carter says. "I''d be honored. Does JJ get to be godmother?""Obviously," I say."Can I hold Jerry Rice?" JJ asks. "He''s so cute.""No way, man," I reply. "I don't want to wake that thing up before practice. We'll be late if we have to feed it.""What does it eat?" Carter asks."I have to breast-feed, cause I'm the mom," Henry says, continuing to push the stroller toward the locker room."Actually," I say, "It eats a metal rod, made out of, like, lead. So basically, we're learning how to poison babies.""Radical," JJ says as we approach the gym,”

“He whispers, "You're beautiful." "Thank you." I'm not so scared anymore. If he likes me for who I am, it doesn't matter what kind of underwear I'm wearing. Or that I'm not wearing makeup. Or that I'm over six feet tall. "You're really cute too," I say, giving him another kiss on the lips, digging my fingertips into his abs. "I'v never wanted anyone so much in my life.”

“Woods? Do you have a sec?" Ty asks."Sure.""Alone?" Ty eyes Henry and Jerry Rice, and I jerk my head at Henry."Fine," Henry says, rolling his eyes. "Divorce me if you must, Woods. I can't believe I've only been married half an hour and I'm already a singleparent." Ty holds the door to the gym open so Henry can get the stroller through. I giggle at the sight of him carrying those diaper bags across thegym.”

“Now that we all have partners, all husbands should come pick up theirprojects."Pick up our project? Shrugging, I stand up and stretch my arms. Henry also stands. "No way, dude," I say. "I'm the man in this relationship.""Oh yeah, absolutely," he says, grinning. He sits back down as I walk to the closet to see this project, which turns out to be one of those fakeelectronic babies. Oh good God. Ms. Bonner hands me a fake baby boy. The doll has these creepy glass eyes that look like they’re staring straightinto my soul. I hold the doll out in front of me like it's a flaming bag of poo and carry it back to Henry."Congratulations, Mommy," I say, dropping the doll into his hands. You could've told me I knocked you up.”