“It’s not that guys aren’t interested in me, because they are, it’s that most of the guys I know are either:1. Shorter than me;2. Pansies;3. On my team;4. All of the above.”

“The writer must be four people: 1) The nut, the obsede 2) The moron 3) The stylist 4) The critic. 1 supplies the material; 2 lets it come out; 3 is taste; 4 is intelligence.”

“1. Heat the oven to Denial.2. Prepare the pan with a spray of Anger.3. Mix in two medium-size bargains with The Bony Guy.4. Add 1/3 cup of Depression (tears will do if you want low-fat).5. Bake...until you can jab a toothpick in your arm and it seems Acceptable.”

“Blaire, I’m not a romantic guy. I don’t kiss and cuddle. It’s all about the sex for me. You deserve someone who kisses and cuddles. Not me. I just fuck, baby. You aren’t meant for someone like me.”

“The four rules of writing... 1. Write to discover. 2. There is no greater discovery than love. 3. All love comes from the Creator. 4. Write what you will.”

“Suddenly I register that St. Clair is shorter than Josh. Much shorter. It’s odd I didn’t notice earlier, but he doesn’t carry himself like a short guy. Most are shy or defensive, or some messed-up combination of the two, but St. Clair is confident and friendly and—”