“Shut up!" Henry says, "You're going to wake up Jerry Rice.""Jerry Rice?" Carter says, covering his mouth with a hand. I don't think I've ever seen Carter laugh so hard."Carter, would you like to be the godfather?" Henry asks. "You know, in case anything happens to me and Woods this week?""Charming," Carter says. "I''d be honored. Does JJ get to be godmother?""Obviously," I say."Can I hold Jerry Rice?" JJ asks. "He''s so cute.""No way, man," I reply. "I don't want to wake that thing up before practice. We'll be late if we have to feed it.""What does it eat?" Carter asks."I have to breast-feed, cause I'm the mom," Henry says, continuing to push the stroller toward the locker room."Actually," I say, "It eats a metal rod, made out of, like, lead. So basically, we're learning how to poison babies.""Radical," JJ says as we approach the gym,”

“Henry looks from my face back to the field, and his eyes pop open wide. I turn to see why he's gaping: JJ and Carter are messing around, tryingto shove a scrawny wide receiver into Jerry Rice's stroller."JJ!" Henry yells, "You can't fit a freshman in that stroller.”

“Woods? Do you have a sec?" Ty asks."Sure.""Alone?" Ty eyes Henry and Jerry Rice, and I jerk my head at Henry."Fine," Henry says, rolling his eyes. "Divorce me if you must, Woods. I can't believe I've only been married half an hour and I'm already a singleparent." Ty holds the door to the gym open so Henry can get the stroller through. I giggle at the sight of him carrying those diaper bags across thegym.”

“Congratulations, Mommy," I say, dropping the doll into his hands. "You could've told me I knocked you up.""My bad. I thought you'd force me to get an abortion," Henry replies, taking the baby and cradling it as if it's real. "He has your eyes, Woods.""And your hair." The doll is bald. "Can we name him Joe Montana?""Hells no, his name is Jerry Rice.""No, his name is Joe Montana.""I was in labor with him for fourteen hours!" Henry exclaims as he rocks the baby back and forth. “His name is Jerry Rice."I grin. "Fine.”

“Yo, guys," Ty says, peering down into the stroller. "What the hell is that thing? Satan's spawn?""You'd better watch it!" Henry says. He puts on a serious face, throws an arm around my shoulders, and pulls me in close. "That's our child you'retalking about."Ty smiles, then looks at Jerry Rice. "Its eyes are seriously creeping me out. And I knew something was going on between you two.""You're right," Henry says. "Woods is my husband, and I'm her wife.”

“[Carter just asked when I became a ram whisperer. Do shut up, Carter]”