“ When God created the Earth, he had such a sick wicked sense of humor. He made everything that’s wrong feel really, really good. ”

“Daniel had no idea what was happening to him. He felt sick. No, he didn’t feel sick. He didn’t feel sick. That was the problem. Or, it wasn’t a problem. Was it? Was it a problem when you didn’t feel normal, and that made you smile because normal never really felt right anyway?”

“I'm not that bad,” he said. “I'm rich, popular. I have a sense of humor. I'm good looking, and not to mention I have a really big—”

“Holy Christ fate’s got a fucking sick sense of humor ” he chuckled.”

“God really must have had a sense of humor, because if I had to name my biggest turn-on, it was literature. And he had just recommended a book that I didn’t know, that wasn’t taught in school. If I were single, there would be no better pick-up line.”

“Yes Yeswhen God created love he didn't help most when God created dogs He didn't help dogs when God created plants that was average when God created hate we had a standard utility when God created me He created me when God created the monkey He was asleep when He created the giraffe He was drunk when He created narcotics He was high and when He created suicide He was low when He created you lying in bed He knew what He was doing He was drunk and He was high and He created the mountains and the sea and fire at the same time He made some mistakes but when He created you lying in bed He came all over His Blessed Universe.”