“You can’t walk around here half naked in Roman warrior costumes or every woman in a fifty-mile radius will be on you like flies on honey.”

“Stop it,” I smacked him. “What if that was some guy hitting on me? I swear you attract single females in a five mile radius like a fly to honey.” –Sophie to Caeden”

“Perfume companies ought to bottle the smell of crisp bacon. Forget pheromones. I’ll bet a woman with a little spot of bacon grease behind her ears would attract every male within a five-mile radius.”

“I hate Technicolor. Everybody in a Technicolor movie seems to feel obliged to wear a lurid costume in each new scene and to stand around like a clotheshorse with a lot of very green trees or very yellow wheat or very blue ocean rolling away for miles and miles in every direction.”

“Can you believe it? Fifty miles from McDonald's. I didn't think there was anywhere in the world that was fifty miles from McDonald's.”

“Seems to be there’s advantage to be taken, son, and ain’t no one in a hundred mile radius would blame you for takin’ it.”