“When a friend leaves you, you move on. When a best friend leaves you, part of you is gone”

“Friends end. But family will stay when your friendship ends”

“It's not what you say that gets you what you want; rather, it's how you say it.”

“The universe gives what the universe gives, yes. Cheap thrills, plenty of those, enough to get you through until Halloween when the Catholic school girls come out in full force and wink as they ask you to spank them (they’ve been very naughty). I’m going to sleep now and dream of deeper waters with treasure at the bottom. This junk has rendered me catatonic. I’m a mermaid, goddamn it, not the tooth fairy existing solely to place silver dollars beneath your crybaby pillow.”

“When you leave a place, it's best to leave.”

“Remember, friends help you move. Good friends help you move a body. Best friends bring their own shovel...”

“Guilt is a good friend, isn't it? It will stand at your back when every other friend has abandoned you, and in the face of all reason it will stay by your side, and even when you tell it, "I am moving on now," it will say, "I shall never leave you; never." If only I could find a lover as faithful as guilt.”