“He didn’t get it—guys like that never flirted with men like him.In spite of the fact he was a cop, which he liked to hope had givenhim a little bit of visible macho cool after eight years on the job,his sister still said his looks and style were “nerd meets librarian,”which to him meant he was about as bland as they came. Notexactly a balm to his ego. The man sprawled out in the chair overhis right shoulder, however, didn’t have a bland bone in his comeon-baby-you-know-you-want-to-fuck-me body.”

“Honey, right now you look like someone's adorable little sister. No guy wants to screw his little sister. And if he does, you don't want to be near him.”

“I didn’t move, numb as Al sidled up alongside me and together we eyed Pierce, nervous under our combined scrutiny. “If you give him a body,” he said lightly, “I will kill him.”I looked at Al. His eyes didn’t look strange anymore, and it scared me. “I don’t know that curse,” I said blandly.”

“It was his fault too,” Fredrick said. “He never really asked her why. It was like he didn’t want to know.”

“One evening Milarepa returned to his cave after gathering firewood, only to find it filled with demons. They were cooking his food, reading his books, sleeping in his bed. They had taken over the joint. He knew about nonduality of self and other, but he still didn’t quite know how to get these guys out of his cave. Even though he had the sense that they were just a projection of his own mind—all the unwanted parts of himself—he didn’t know how to get rid of them. So first he taught them the dharma. He sat on this seat that was higher than they were and said things to them about how we are all one. He talked about compassion and shunyata and how poison is medicine. Nothing happened. The demons were still there. Then he lost his patience and got angry and ran at them. They just laughed at him. Finally, he gave up and just sat down on the floor, saying, “I’m not going away and it looks like you’re not either, so let’s just live here together.” At that point, all of them left except one. Milarepa said, “Oh, this one is particularly vicious.” (We all know that one. Sometimes we have lots of them like that. Sometimes we feel that’s all we’ve got.) He didn’t know what to do, so he surrendered himself even further. He walked over and put himself right into the mouth of the demon and said, “Just eat me up if you want to.” Then that demon left too.”

“Wait for me.”If his voice was just a bit hoarse, she didn’t seem to take note of it. She looked at him as though he had reached over and slapped her. “You don’t trust me? After all that talk of taking me for my word—”“This isn’t about trust.”“That is precisely what this is about.” Her fingers fisted in her skirts. “Because I’ve trusted you.”It hurt him to hear it. He didn’t know what else to do. He had no contacts left. He was walking around now like a blind man. He didn’t need the added weight of her safety on his conscience. Caine’s eyes fell away again. “Maybe you shouldn’t.”That earned him a flustered: “You told me to!”