“And together they did eat of the candy corn. And it was good.”

“Little Tony was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another. After the 6th candy bar a man on the bench across from him said Son you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne rot your teeth and make you fat. Little Tony replied My grandfather lived to be 107 years old. The man asked Did you grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time Little Tony answered No he minded his own fucking business.”

“Every Halloween I missed being a kid, getting to dress up and eat tons of candy. The only thing I got to do now was…eat tones of Candy. Not half bad”

“I’d run 26.2 miles to eat a Marathon candy bar.”

“Sex is good, but not as good as fresh sweet corn.”

“Life isn't fair. A fair's a place where you eat corn dogs and ride the ferris wheel.”