“Great characters tell their own stories. The author just writes it down for them.”

“God uses some of the worst times to do great things.”

“I don't think I have the faith to believe in Elohim.""But He Always believes in you.”

“Just tell him to keep his hands to himself and his python in his pants.”

“Tell them you're pregnant with a married minister's baby, then say, "Just kidding! I'm a vampire,'" she suggested.”

“Don’t tell them he’s upstairs , I commanded my brain. Tell them he moved to Pacoima to start a commune for vegetarian vampires. Tell them he’s looking into getting a sex-change operation and renaming himself Lulu Pleshette.”

“I couldn’t have loved her more if she was my own child. But sometimes I considered shaving her eyebrows off while she slept.For the sake of developing her character.”