“He's like that with everybody. Don't take it personally. Some people were just born with a pinecone shoved up their butts. In Cooper's case, it's lodged sideways.”

“Some vampires wouldn't react if you shoved a rosary down their pants, though I wouldn't recommend testing the theory.”

“It seems kind of light for a dozen books. I think it's probably that unnatural number of Jason Statham DVDs you ordered."He has to have filmed a nude scene at some point in his career. I don't care how many shoot-'em-up action movies I have to watch, I will find it," I said solemnly. "Oh, yes, I will find it.”

“I offered you a choice, and you took it."I shot him what I hoped was a truly scathing glare. "Some choice. I was dying. Some drunk shot me from a pickup. Why wouldn't I have just woken up with gonorrhea like every other girl of loose moral fiber?”

“Why couldn’t I have spent the last few months like this, wrapped in his arms, drinking in the warm, spicy scent of him? Oh, wait. Cooper was a complete dick to me, that’s why.”

“What can you do?" he asked.It took me a few seconds to catch up to Daddy's question. He was asking about my snazzy new vampire powers, not expressing helplessness about my being turned by a guy with "shoves trees on people" tendencies."Oh, um, a lot of stuff, except, you know, eat solid food and go outside during the day, " I said. "Even my pot pie?" Mama cried. Yes, because in this situation, pot pie was what we should be focusing on.”

“Maybe it was just an over abundance of hormones, a response to a sexual starvation diet. I'd been without for so long that my body was craving the worst possible thing for me. Cooper was carnal triple chocolate cheesecake, deep-fried on a stick.”