“If you want to hurt me fine. Take my books. Burn down my house. Shave my head while I'm sleeping. But nobody nobody screws with my dog.”

“She tried to hurt Fitz!" He turned to Gabriel and Dick. "That'll get her mad. "Gabriel rolled his eyes. "She's been framed for murder twice over, shot in the back, her arms were set on fire, and her parents are being held hostage. You think tampered dog water is what's going to make her angry?""You tried to hurt my dog!" I wheezed as I lurched toward a grinning Missy."Oh, big deal, " Missy huffed. "It's the ugliest dog I've ever seen. ""You tried to hurt my dog, " I said again."I would have been doing you a favor. " Missy sneered."Nobody. Screws. With. My. Dog. " I growled, punctuating each word with a punch to Missy's face. I gave an upper cut to the chin that sent her flying back into a pile on the ground.Zeb grinned at Dick and Gabriel. "Told you. ”

“There's an inverse relationship between my temper and my ability to control my accent. If you hear me say 'Fiddledeedee', run for the hills, because I'm getting ready to take out bystanders.”

“Besides, my drinking blood's not nearly as weird as that time I caught you shaving your legs.""I was curious!”

“I couldn’t have loved her more if she was my own child. But sometimes I considered shaving her eyebrows off while she slept.For the sake of developing her character.”

“Would you kick her ass already?" Dick said, shoving me back toward Missy. "Come on, Stretch, man up. You do better than this! Get mad."I nodded, rolling a dislocated shoulder back into place with a grunt and staggering back toward my opponent. Behind me, Zeb yelled, "She tried to hurt Fitz!" He turned to Gabriel and Dick. "That'll get her mad."Gabriel rolled his eyes. "She's been framed for murder twice over, shot in the back, her arms were set on fire, and her parents are being held hostage. You think tampered dog water is what's going to make her angry?" "You tried to hurt my dog!" I wheezed as I lurched toward a grinning Missy.”

“Look, over the years, my unique sense of humor and perverse grasp of honesty may have led to some hurt feelings and long-held grudges. But overall, I'm a pretty likable person.”