“I’ve never done this before. I didn’t go to human bars. Mudslides aside, I’m not much of a drinker. Club people are not my people. Now, book-club people—”

“Most of the people you read about being turned meet vamps in clubs or over the Internet...Ew, did you...?""Yes, I met a vampire on the Internet, went to his evil love den, and let him turn me, because I'm that brainless.”

“Most of the funeral stuff is going to be done during daylight hours,” I said. “I’m not even going to be able to attend the burial. Humans get upset when vampires burst into flames right next to them.”

“Misery, thy name is Mudslide”

“He stroked a hand across my shoulders. "You know, I've never seen this agressively intellectual side of you before. It's rather disturbing and yet somehow a little sexy."Which is pretty much how we define our relationship", I said.”

“Wal-mart started selling "Vampire Home Defense Kits", including holy water, crosses, stakes, mallets, and a book of quick blessings to bar vampires from your door. The fact that these kits were generally useless didn't bother me nearly as much as the idea of holy water being sold at wal-mart.”

“I've never understood why people pick Noah's ark for a nursery theme anyway." Andrea said breezily...Really", I snorted. "I mean, who wants reminders of a natural disaster, literally of biblical portions, on their baby's walls? What are you supposed to say, 'Oh, drowning sinners, isn't that precious?”