“Stupid werewolf ninja sperm.”

“Fortunately, among werewolf women, the word "bitch" is not offensive. I was having a lot of fun with that."Hey there, bitches!" I called as I came through the door. "What are my favorite bitches up to today?”

“Establishing dominance early in the relationship is key. Vampire children are like human children in that they can sense weakness. They will wait for you to be busy or too distracted to realize that you’ve given them permission to feed on the pizza guy. —Siring for the Stupid: A Beginner’s Guide to Raising Newborn Vampires”

“In a werewolf pack, you cannot interfere with the mate choice of a clan fellow. You cannot intentionally harm that werewolf’s chosen mate. You are not, however, required to help that person should he find himself in a life - threatening situation.Somehow, Zeb had managed to stumble into several such situations in the few months since he ’d been engaged to Jolene. He’d had several hunting “accidents” while visiting the McClaine farm, even though he didn’t hunt. The brakes on his car had failed while he was driving home from the farm—twice. Also, a running chainsaw mysteriously fell on him from a hayloft.He would never get that pinkie toe back.”

“To the highly organized mind, death is just another adventure.‘That’s from Harry Potter,’ I said. ‘Dumbledore said it in the first book.’‘Trust you to know.’” (p. 273).”

“We don’t have problems”, Gabriel insisted.You killed someone!I killed someone for you!Well, pardon me if I don’t think that’s going to make it into the next collection of Halmark cards!” (p. 301).”

“I look like Barbara Bush in drag." Aunt Jettie”