“You made me happy when I should have been miserable. You were the only person who could reach me, and maybe that scared me. You accepted me – broken and faulty.”

“His lack of remorse and boundaries should have been a red flag to me, but it sort of made me want to see how far I would let myself go with him.”

“No, I chastised myself. I should be happy for him. I’d let him go. I’d turned down his request to be with me, so now I had no room to judge who he chose to be with. I needed to be happy for him, but I wasn’t. Knowing he was laughing and smiling with someone else, that he was flirting and teasing someone who wasn’t me ignited a feeling inside me that I’d fought so hard to bury. Suddenly, I was drawn to him like I hadn’t been in years, and I couldn’t ignore it.”

“I’m just glad you took me back,” he said, grinning widely. Stupid grin. It made me want to kiss him, and I shouldn’t have wanted to kiss him.”

“I kissed his forehead. “You don’t have to thank me. I told you, I do anything for someone I care about.”He pulled away and looked up at me. “You said you do anything for someone you love.”I didn’t know how to respond to that. We were in such a precarious place. I didn’t want to say anything that might scare him away or let him know how I truly felt, because at the end of the day, I loved him. It was that simple. Instead I gave him a small smile. “I did say that, didn’t I?”

“When you walked away from me last night, I felt like a piece of me had left with you. All I wanted in that moment was to get into that cab with you, put my arms around you and tell you that everything was going to be okay, because I love you.”

“Allow me to spell it out for you,” I said calmly. “I am still absolutely terrified of marriage, but I would marry you tonight if it was a way for me to prove how much I believe that you’re the guy for me.”