“As long as there are things and idiots, idiots will break things.”

“We've tried to live in balance with nature long enough. This time nature went too far. As soon as you and your fiance are safely out of here, I'm calling in an air strike to napalm this whole forest.”

“But three cheers for Alaska, they've got 24-hour hot fucking bear delivery. Note to self: Nuke Alaska.”

“Some managers hire people they're excited to work with. I prefer to hire people I'm excited to dominate.”

“If I was a worrier I'd worry, but not being a worrier I'm just sort of confused and pissed off.”

“Writers Are Insane. For months we are lone wolves locked in our caves. Then overnight we become publicity hounds. It's a schizophrenic business.”

“Children, I highly recommend them.”