“Being a writer is a lot like being a mother, only books don't talk back when they get older.”

“You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life.”

“So scared of getting older, I'm only good at being young.”

“Not being able to talk sucks. There's no doubt about that. There's a lot of times when I almost feel like I'm trapped inside of myself. Like if I don't talk or yell or scream or laugh I'm going to explode. A lot of the time it almost feels like I'm suffocating.”

“If you can't stand your own company alone in a room for long hours, or, when it gets tough, the feeling of being in a locked cell, or, when it gets tougher still, the vague feeling of being buried alive--then don't be a writer.”

“Being a professional writer is a lot like being a hooker. You'd better find out if you're any good at it before you start charging for it.”