“I have a rotary phone from the sixties, it take forever to dial, which keeps me from making impulsive calls.”

“You have about as much chance of contacting the Universal Mind with a spell from a book as you do of reaching the White House by dialing random numbers into a phone.”

“I want to marry Mommy. We'll kiss and we'll marry and I'll take her on dates and we'll be best friends forever and make lots of phone calls with each other.”

“Phones with numerical keypads worked best for dialing phone calls. Incidentally, phone calls tend to be the primary function of a phone. 'Smartphones' completely ignore these basic facts, resulting in some of the least intelligent devices I've seen yet. Oh the irony.”

“I have this thing that keeps me from being interested in prom dresses, it's called a penis.”

“Arcadia,” Lon’s voice said from my phone. “Who is this?” I teased. “You can’t take my son on a date.” “I didn’t ask him. He asked me.” “He stole my cell and called without permission.” “Sounds like a personal problem to me.” A low growling noise came out of the phone.”