“Forget Ryan,' Heidi said dismissively. 'He's a tool.''I thought you liked him!''I did--until I saw how little convincing he needed from me to cheat on you. And then I realized, Ryan Dano is a tool.”

“Well, you're not [fat]. You have, like, the ideal balance of fat and muscle. ...If I were a cannibal, I'd eat you.”

“No matter what those sex-ed teachers say about how great condoms are, there's not a condom in the world to protect you from heartbreak.”

“right now,I am my father”

“Hey, God made us sexual creatures. If he wanted teenagers to wait that long, he would have made puberty start at twenty-five.”

“I want to keep sleeping, but the sun outside my window has other ideas: First blind her. Then jab her eyeballs with scorching-hot daggers.”

“When you believe in something, stand up for it, even if everyone is sitting.”