“right now,I am my father”

“I want to keep sleeping, but the sun outside my window has other ideas: First blind her. Then jab her eyeballs with scorching-hot daggers.”

“If my mother were a bumper sticker, she would read THAT'S NOT APPROPRIATE. Taylor's mom would read WHY THE F*** NOT?”

“Forget Ryan,' Heidi said dismissively. 'He's a tool.''I thought you liked him!''I did--until I saw how little convincing he needed from me to cheat on you. And then I realized, Ryan Dano is a tool.”

“Well, you're not [fat]. You have, like, the ideal balance of fat and muscle. ...If I were a cannibal, I'd eat you.”

“When you believe in something, stand up for it, even if everyone is sitting.”

“No matter what those sex-ed teachers say about how great condoms are, there's not a condom in the world to protect you from heartbreak.”