“I can’t function here anymore. I mean in life: I can’t function in this life. I’m no better off than when I was in bed last night, with one difference: when I was in my own bed—or my mom’s—I could do something about it; now that I’m here I can’t do anything. I can’t ride my bike to the Brooklyn Bridge; I can’t take a whole bunch of pills and go for the good sleep; the only thing I can do is crush my head in the toilet seat, and I still don’t even know if that would work. They take away your options and all you can do is live, and it’s just like Humble said: I’m not afraid of dying; I’m afraid of living. I was afraid before, but I’m afraid even more now that I’m a public joke. The teachers are going to hear from the students. They’ll think I’m trying to make an excuse for bad work.”
Explore This Quote Further
Quote Analysis
In this quote, Ned Vizzini's character expresses a deep sense of hopelessness and despair. The speaker feels completely trapped and overwhelmed by the challenges of life, feeling unable to take control of their circumstances or find a way out of their suffering. The mention of suicidal thoughts and feelings of being a public joke highlight the intense emotional turmoil and isolation experienced by the speaker. The fear of living, rather than dying, reflects a sense of powerlessness and fear of the unknown future. Overall, this quote conveys a poignant exploration of mental health struggles and the overwhelming weight of societal expectations and pressures.
Modern Relevance
In this poignant quote from Ned Vizzini's novel, the protagonist expresses feelings of hopelessness and despair, reflecting on the limitations and pressures of society. Today, many individuals continue to struggle with mental health issues and feelings of inadequacy in a world that can feel overwhelming and isolating. The character's internal conflict serves as a reminder of the importance of addressing mental health concerns and offering support to those in need.
Example of Usage
In this passage from Ned Vizzini's novel, the protagonist expresses his feelings of hopelessness and despair, feeling trapped in a situation where he sees no way out. He articulates his struggle with living and facing the challenges that come with it.
Reflection Questions:
This reflection is centered around the feelings of hopelessness and despair expressed by the character in the quote. Reflecting on these emotions can help us explore our own struggles and fears. Consider the following questions as you think about the quote:
- Have you ever felt overwhelmed by life to the point where you felt like you couldn't function? What thoughts or situations triggered these feelings?
- Do you believe that limitations placed on us externally, such as societal expectations or mental health struggles, can hinder our ability to take control of our own lives? How do these limitations affect your sense of agency?
- How do you typically cope with feelings of fear or hopelessness? Do you find yourself turning inward, like the character in the quote, or seeking help and support from others?
- In what ways do you think being seen as a "public joke" or facing judgment from others can impact your mental health and well-being? How do you navigate these external pressures?
- How does the idea of living feel scarier than the idea of dying resonate with you? How do you find strength and courage to keep moving forward in difficult times?
Similar quotes
“This was all an excuse, I think. I was doing fine. I had a 93 average and I was holding my head above water. I had good friends and a loving family. And because I needed to be the center of attention, because I needed something more, I ended up here, wallowing in myself, trying to convince everybody around me that I have some kind of. . . disease. I don’t have any disease. I keep pacing. Depression isn’t a disease. It’s a pretext for being a prima donna. Everybody knows that. My friends know it; my principal knows it. The sweating has started again. I can feel the Cycling roaring up in my brain. I haven’t done anything right. What have I done, made a bunch of little pictures? That doesn’t count as anything. I’m finished. My principal just called me and I hung up on him and didn’t call back. I’m finished. I’m expelled. I’m finished.”
“I’m not better, you know. The weight hasn’t left my head. I feel how easily I could fall back into it, lie down and not eat, waste my time and curse wasting my time, look at my homework and freak out and go and chill at Aaron’s, look at Nia and be jealous again, take the subway home and hope that it has an accident, go and get my bike and head to the Brooklyn Bridge. All of that is still there. The only thing is, it’s not an option now. It’s just… a possibility, like it’s a possibility that I could turn to dust in the next instant and be disseminated throughout the universe as an omniscient consciousness. It’s not a very likely possibility.”
“Do you know how crazy that made me? I’m trying to concentrate on my fucking fucking ball baseball game and all I can think about is why the hell the girl I’m in love with is ignoring me. I knewsomething was wrong when you never called. I tried to shake it off, but I couldn’t. You can’t do that tome. Don’t you understand? You can’t fucking do that to me when I’m trying to play ball!”
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