“In the shower today I tried to think about the best advice I'd ever been given by another writer. There was something that someone said at my first Milford, about using style as a covering, but sooner or later you would have to walk naked down the street, that was useful...And then I remembered. It was Harlan Ellison about a decade ago.He said, "Hey. Gaiman. What's with the stubble? Every time I see you, you're stubbly. What is it? Some kind of English fashion statement?""Not really.""Well? Don't they have razors in England for Chrissakes?""If you must know, I don't like shaving because I have a really tough beard and sensitive skin. So by the time I've finished shaving I've usually scraped my face a bit. So I do it as little as possible.""Oh." He paused. "I've got that too. What you do is, you rub your stubble with hair conditioner. Leave it a couple of minutes, then wash it off. Then shave normally. Makes it really easy to shave. No scraping."I tried it. It works like a charm. Best advice from a writer I've ever received.”

“I shaved my lady mustache (ladystache) off with my roommate's gay razor (it's a gay razor because it's his razor and he's gay) and now I have man-stubble on my upper lip. Then to make it just a tiny bit sexier I broke out where I shaved. So now I have an acne mustache. I should have left it alone. Like I do with the beard. The Korean ladies at the nail place were right. "You too much hair. You do mustache and arms and chin and back and neck. Please. Too much hair, lady-man.”

“You know i don't like you, right?""You've made that very clear, yes." said Magwich."Well" Charles continued, "whenever we've met, you've demonstrated all the qualities i don't want to have. And I try to better myself so I don't become like you. So in a way...""My bad example is making you a better person?" finished Magwich."something like that." said Charles. "If it wasn't for people like you, I don't think I would try so hard. And honestly, you're the worst i've ever encountered." "Oh, you're just saying that." said Magwich. "No, I really mean it.”

“I said that I am in love with you. I've tried not to be, I really have, but it's just useless. I know you don't feel the same way about me, but I had to tell you because... well, you're all I think about. All the time. I miss you every second that you're not with me... and I know you won't want to be around me anymore, but, Camilla... you're one of the best friends I've ever had. You're smart and amazing and weird and probably the most beautiful person I've ever seen... and before I met you, all I wanted was just to fast-forward through everything. But, really, I think my life was just paused, or something. You... made me press play. You made everything move. And no matter where you go, or whatever you feel about me... I will love you forever for that.”

“You need to shave,” I said to wipe that gooey love struck look off his face. I didn’t need my dad to kill him. Caeden grinned and rubbed his stubbly chin. “But you love my scruff,” he said and rubbed his jaw against my face to drive home the point.”

“I've been thinking,' said Allan.'What,' said Stalin angrily.'Why don't you shave off that moustache?'With that the dinner was over, because the interpreter fainted.”