“Tell him that we fucking reprogrammed reality. Tell him that language is a virus and that religion is an operating system and that prayers are just so much fucking spam.”

“Tell him I was too fucking busy-- or vice versa.”

“Better yet - I'll buy him a dildo with his own money, send it to him, and tell him to go fuck himself”

“Tell me i'm not losing more of you to him every fucking day. -Seth”

“What's up with you?" "I'm grounded," I say, just to say something real. "I told Mum to fuck off." He whistles. "Why'd you tell her that? Any other 'off' leaves room for parole. 'Sod off,' 'shove off'—even 'sock off' is still pretty satisfying." "You've told your dad to sock off?" "Once. He said, 'What the fuck is "sock off"? Be a man and tell me to fuck off.'" "So did you tell him?" "No. Because that was the trap. There's never time out for good behavior with 'fuck off.”

“Holy fuck—would somebody please tell him why a massive photo of a penis was sitting front and center in the courtroom?”