“The cat wrinkled its nose and managed to look unimpressed. "Calling cats," it confided, "tends to be a rather overrated activity. Might as well call a whirlwind.”

“They say that a cat, if it falls from a window andhits its nose, can lose its sense of smell and then, because cats live bytheir ability to smell, it can no longer recognize things. I’m a cat that hitits nose.”

“Spartacus," I called, "how's it hanging?" Probably not too well. Once you're dead, had your organs removed, and are resurrected as an undead mummified cat, your testicles probably looked like old raisins that had rolled under the couch. Raisins didn't tend to...hang.”

“The house-cat is a four-legged quadruped, the legs as usual being at the corners. It is what is sometimes called a tame animal, though it feeds on mice and birds of prey. Its colours are striped, it does not bark, but breathes through its nose instead of its mouth. Cats also mow, which you all have heard. Cats have nine liveses, but which is seldom wanted in this country, coz' of Christianity. Cats eat meat and most anythink speshuelly where you can't afford. That is all about cats."(From a schoolboy's essay, 1903.)”

“The pyjamas have cats on them. I am informed that these cats belong to an organisation called Hello Kitty.”

“In the place called Adulthood there are no Cheshire Cats... for they can't endure the suffering of the place.”