“There was something about being in the vicinity of Grahame Coats that always made Fat Charlie (a) speak in cliches and (b) begin to daydream about huge black helicopters first opening fire upon, then dropping buckets of flaming napalm onto the offices of the Grahame Coats agency. Fat Charlie would not be in the office in those daydreams. He would be sitting in a chair outside a little cafe on the other side of Aldwych, sipping a frothy coffee and occasionally cheering at an exceptionally well-flung bucket of napalm.”

“Negotiating the Goodreads interface is like returning a giraffe's eyelashes to their follicles after a Napalm attack using only a rolling pin and a bucket.”

“In the end, Charlie Bucket won a chocolate factory. But Willy Wonka had something even better, a family. And one thing was absolutely certain - life had never been sweeter. ~ from the movie Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.”

“The ties of blood," said Spider, "are stronger than water."Water's not strong," objected Fat Charlie.”

“Now what?” asked Fat Charlie. “Shall we all join hands and contact the living?”

“The shrill voices of those who give ordersAre full of fear like the squeakings ofPiglets awaiting the butcher's knife, as their fat arsesSweat with anxiety in their office chairs....Fear rules not only those who are ruled, butThe rulers too.”