“Bad questions at employment interviews:"Is your drug test graded on a curve?”

“Bad answers for employment questions:Employer: I see here that you worked for the state for three years. Why did you leave that job? "My parole was granted”

“Remember never to text and drive, it's bad grammar, even if you have a deadline. You might cross the line and dead may be your destination. Think about it!!”

“They say that time is relative. I think the way it's treating me it's a distant one, maybe a bad uncle, and not welcome in my house this Christmas!!”

“Wheneve someone asks me, "Did you find everything alright?" I wonder to myself, "Is this a trick question?"Maybe there is something that is not all right, and if I mention it first I get some exotic prizes!!”

“Sure, ask a question, fire away, but remember, just because we answer doesn't mean we care. We all have our own problems, and mine are down in the cellar kicking up a fuss right now, must not have made the knots tight enough!!!”

“They used to say, "A penny for your thoughts". I have heard that zombies will pay up to $5 a pound for your brains. Inflation even affects the dead!!!”