“How about a TV show about vampire plastic surgeons called, "Suck and Tuck"?”

“The man said, "The toy cars are a dollar a piece". The boy thought about that a moment and asked, "How much for the whole thing?”

“This is another one that perplexes me."Would you like your milk in a bag?""No, I think it's fine inside that plastic jug, but thanks for asking first!!”

“I try not to have personal problems, I do that by telling everyone about them!!!”

“Thought about being a stand up comedienne for zombies, but when they eat you alive, they really eat you!!”

“Overheard vampire conversation. "Is that Ophelia?""yep""She doesn't look well""Ever since she drank from that hemophiliac everything just goes right through her.”

“Remember never to text and drive, it's bad grammar, even if you have a deadline. You might cross the line and dead may be your destination. Think about it!!”