“How many boxs of Fruit Loops do you need to smash to be considered a cereal killer?”

“One of the joys of being a grandparent is giving your grandchild caffeinated sugary drinks late in the day, and sending them home. Do you have any idea how many years I had to wait for that?”

“How many of you knew what the Thomas A Swift Electric Rifle was? An idea in the book years ago, and now who hasn't heard of a T.A.S.E.R.”

“I always wonder how many potholes there are in the road less taken. I mean it's great to go where others don't, but is it maintained?”

“I have always pictured accupuncture like falling into a box of sewing needles, and then standing up refreshed and free of pain.”

“I don't know why they call them Cheerios, I ate an entire box and didn't feel any happier!!”

“I think what I need to do is stay awake while I'm sleeping so I can see what I'm dreaming better!!”