“I admit I once threw caution to the wind....It doesn't fly well!!”

“Overheard vampire conversation. "Is that Ophelia?""yep""She doesn't look well""Ever since she drank from that hemophiliac everything just goes right through her.”

“Somebody once told me that I need a reality check, I told them that I'll accept money from any source.”

“I tried to walk a mile in a man's shoes once. I ended up running most of the way!! Seems he wanted them back..”

“I remember a bully once telling me that he was going to beat the stuffing out of me. After numerous blows it was evident to both of us that I didn't have any!!”

“Pharmacy drive-up window:"Could I have your address?""Well, you could, but that would be one hell of a coincidence!!”

“I've always been afraid that if I played Sim City I'd just get virtual junk mail for occupant/resident since it is so much like real life!!! It would suck to be invisible in two worlds at once, as always that gives me an interesting story idea. Have to run someone, no doubt a solicitor, is at my door...”