“If I have multiple personalities will I taste better to a zombie, or is the effort simply wasted? I've talked it over with myself, and neither of us could agree if that is true or not!!!”

“They used to say, "A penny for your thoughts". I have heard that zombies will pay up to $5 a pound for your brains. Inflation even affects the dead!!!”

“I try not to have personal problems, I do that by telling everyone about them!!!”

“Pharmacy drive-up window:"Could I have your address?""Well, you could, but that would be one hell of a coincidence!!”

“Thought about being a stand up comedienne for zombies, but when they eat you alive, they really eat you!!”

“I remember a bully once telling me that he was going to beat the stuffing out of me. After numerous blows it was evident to both of us that I didn't have any!!”

“I think what I need to do is stay awake while I'm sleeping so I can see what I'm dreaming better!!”