“Remember, never apply too much torque or you'll bust your nuts!!”

“Remember never to text and drive, it's bad grammar, even if you have a deadline. You might cross the line and dead may be your destination. Think about it!!”

“I have my moments, I just can't remember where I put them.”

“I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges soaking up so much water.”

“Have you ever had a large spider in the tub, figuring you'll wash it down the drain you turn on the shower, and set it to hot?Only to have the stupid thing grab onto the edge of the drain and hiss at you!!”

“Has anybody ever written a horror pop-up book? The center of the book pops up and opens the gate to the elder gods. Of course you'll want to shrink wrap these books because you want people to buy them before they get sucked into another dimension.”

“Is it possible to be ticket for going too fast during speed dating?”