“The man said, "The toy cars are a dollar a piece". The boy thought about that a moment and asked, "How much for the whole thing?”

“I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges soaking up so much water.”

“How about a TV show about vampire plastic surgeons called, "Suck and Tuck"?”

“Thought about being a stand up comedienne for zombies, but when they eat you alive, they really eat you!!”

“You know what they say. "One man's joke is another man's brother”

“I have my moments, I just can't remember where I put them.”

“This was to be my last trip. Sailing great distances was dangerous, and not very profitable in today's world. I walked down the worn wooden step to the captain's cabin, the creaking of the ship keeping time with my steps. Opening the door I found him bent over an old map."Where are we captain?" I asked, hoping it was close to home."See this spot, where it says "Here there be monsters"?" he said pointing to an image of a horrid beast."Certainly, but you and I both know such creatures don't exist!!"The captain laughed, and looking up at me with an evil glint in his eye said, "Who's talking about sea monsters?". As he spoke the skin from one corner of his mouth fell loose, exposing a yellow reptilian skin beneath."What?" I yelled, and as I turned to run for the cabin door I heard screams and loud moans coming from the deck, and the crew quarters below.I felt fetid breath on the back of my neck, "Aye matey, here there be monsters”