“They used to say, "A penny for your thoughts". I have heard that zombies will pay up to $5 a pound for your brains. Inflation even affects the dead!!!”

“Thought about being a stand up comedienne for zombies, but when they eat you alive, they really eat you!!”

“Remember never to text and drive, it's bad grammar, even if you have a deadline. You might cross the line and dead may be your destination. Think about it!!”

“Pharmacy drive-up window:"Could I have your address?""Well, you could, but that would be one hell of a coincidence!!”

“If I have multiple personalities will I taste better to a zombie, or is the effort simply wasted? I've talked it over with myself, and neither of us could agree if that is true or not!!!”

“You ever drive up to the pharmacy window and they ask you, "Can I have your phone number?"Sure all I get on it anymore are political calls, and people doing polls. Maybe it's difficult for people that work at pharmacy drive up windows to get phones.”

“They started the meeting out by saying, "Everybody please take your seats"I was halfway back to my cubicle with mine before they stopped me...”