“You ever drive up to the pharmacy window and they ask you, "Can I have your phone number?"Sure all I get on it anymore are political calls, and people doing polls. Maybe it's difficult for people that work at pharmacy drive up windows to get phones.”

“Pharmacy drive-up window:"Could I have your address?""Well, you could, but that would be one hell of a coincidence!!”

“Go through your phone book, call people and ask them to drive you to the airport. The ones who will drive you are your true friends. The rest aren't bad people; they're just acquaintances. ”

“Dee Henning. I understand your focus, your drive to succeed, really I do, but I gotta wonder how you can even call it success when you’re so wrapped up in your work that the only way you’ll ever get laid is if they put it in the job description.”

“Dear Miz Fitz,My boyfriend is superhot so a lot of girls think up reasons to talk to him. It drives me......Out of my MindMiz Fitz sez:Maybe he is too hot for you. Send me his photo, name, and phone number. I will check him out and get back to you.”

“In the past when I was younger my friends and relations had known what to do with me: some of them used to advise me to volunteer for the army, others to get a job in a pharmacy, and others in the telegraph department; now that I am over twenty-five, that grey hairs are beginning to show on my temples, and that I have been already in the army, and in a pharmacy, and in the telegraph department, it would seem that all earthly possibilities have been exhausted, and people have given up advising me, and merely sigh or shake their heads.”