“The point is it’s such a great feeling to scarf cookies with abandon like Cookie Monster.Truly, he is the role model for us all.AWESOME!”

“Thank you,” Simon said. “It’s a joke, Isabelle. He’s the Count. He likes counting. You know. ‘What did the Count eat today, children? One chocolate chip cookie, two chocolate chip cookies, three chocolate chip cookies . . .’”There was a rush of cold air as the door of the restaurant opened, letting in another customer. Isabelle shivered and reached for her black silk scarf. “It’s not realistic.”“What would you prefer? ‘What did the Count eat today, children? One helpless villager, two helpless villagers, three helpless villagers . . .”

“It’s just a cookie, sweetheart.”

“This is like a cookie, it tastes like a cookie having sex with a doughnut.”

“It’s like he has this power over me—like I have an eating disorder and he’s a package of Oreo Double Stuff cookies.”

“More of a cookie person, myself. No offense to the other baked goods. I just like cookies.”